Leading A Well-Balanced Life

“You gave me advice last year that changed my life. I will always be grateful.” This comment came from the founder of an extremely successful organization that was just getting ready to go public. I (MG) had no idea to which specific advice he was referring.

He continued, “I was feeling anxious and sometimes depressed. I was concerned that I was not living a ‘well-balanced life.’ I was working extremely hard but not spending as much time with my family, my friends and my charitable work as I had in the past. I felt guilty and a little ashamed of myself.

“You said, ‘This is a very special time in your life. You have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Go for it! Just because you will be putting in lots of hours for the next couple of years does not mean that this pattern has to continue for the rest of your life. You are young. You have many years ahead of you. Your family will understand. The nonprofits you support will appreciate the large contributions from what you earn.’”

Let Go of Guilt

We have seen this same phenomenon in many different settings. I (KG) have seen young Ph.D. students have the same existential crisis, as they worked on their dissertations, and assistant professors go through the same drama, as they got close to getting tenure. I try to assure them that this level of pressure will not last forever. Just “get the ball over the line” now.

We give the same advice to authors who are publishing their first book: “This is it. You will never get to write another first book that captures the highlights of what you have learned in your life. After the book is published, if you want it to be a success, get ready to pay the price. You are going to be on the road giving talks about the book or doing podcasts—over and over again. It will be a huge amount of work but, if you really believe in your book and want people to read it, it will be well worth the effort.”

Leading a well-balanced life does not mean that every year will be a well-balanced year. One of our great friends was an investment banker for 10 years and then became the CEO of a nonprofit and worked for free. Others were in nonprofits, the military or in public service and later made money. It’s OK.

The same is true for health and family relations. One CEO noted that she had given up one year in the prime of her career to be with her dying mother. She did not regret her decision for one minute. Another leader said that he had a serious health issue and went on leave for six months to focus on taking care of himself. Thankfully, he recovered and is now back at work. Neither he nor his family regretted his decision.

Share Your Story

As a leader, this is a great message to share with your direct reports. There are going to be times when they, like you, need to make a sacrifice. There will be times when your organization will face unique opportunities and challenges. As leaders, they cannot expect every week to be a well-balanced week.

Our suggestion for you, as a person, is to look in the mirror. What does a well-balanced life mean to you? No one can answer that question for you but you. No one else can tell you about your purpose in life. No one else can tell you what will bring you long-term satisfaction and joy.

Make peace with your decisions. Some people imply that every day needs to be a well-balanced day. Not us. We suggest that you lead a well-balanced life, as only you can define it. Drop that guilt about not having a well-balanced year.